Supporting your teen in their decision-making process for CEGEP admission

First, rest assured: this is a common phenomenon. Just because the system requires young people to make a decision at age 16 or 17 doesn't mean that they will automatically have the maturity, willingness, or readiness to choose. The development of vocational maturity is neither linear nor uniform. Some progress more slowly, differently, depending on their self-knowledge, their level of anxiety, or their perception of possibilities.  

In fact, among undecided young people, about 59% feel very little or no readiness to make a career choice¹. In this context, here are some concrete solutions to help your teen move forward. 

Sometimes perceived as indifferent or even lazy, some teens are quickly labeled as passive when it comes to career guidance. While this is understandable from a parent's perspective, it doesn't necessarily help young people take action. Quite the contrary, this can lock them into a rigid image and further distance them, when what they really need is to be understood.

Being passive does not mean doing nothing. It is possible to observe, reflect, or analyze without taking visible action. This time for reflection is sometimes necessary during adolescence before making a decision, i.e., well before completing college registration.

Fear of making a mistake

One of the most common causes of this passivity is the fear of making a mistake. For some young people, not trying too hard seems less risky than failing or disappointing others. This fear is not only about choosing a program of study, it touches on a deeper fear, namely missing out on happiness. When the choice is perceived as final, the pressure becomes immense. Faced with this uncertainty, avoidance and procrastination appear to be defence mechanisms.

Feeling incompetent or inadequate

Passivity can also stem from a feeling of incompetence. Some young people feel that they are not living up to expectations, whether their own, those of their friends and family, or society at large. For many, choosing a career path is seen as a huge and final decision. The question "What am I going to do with my life?" can seem overwhelming. They may feel helpless and prefer to take a step back to avoid failure.

Building and defining one's identity

Passivity can also reflect a phase of identity building. Procrastination or temporary disinterest allows young people to protect themselves from pressure and remain open to opportunities. Everyone evolves at their own pace, according to their knowledge of themselves and the world of work.

Above all, this is an opportunity to show empathy. Remember: at their age, very few of us knew what we wanted to do with our lives. Understanding their approach, even if it is silent, is essential to supporting them.

When a young person seems passive, the role of the adult is not to decide and apply to college for them, but to help them develop their ability to choose and take action.

Promote autonomy through meaningful choices

The more choices a teenager makes, the more skilled and comfortable they become with the idea of choosing. Before pushing them, create an environment where they feel respected, supported, and free from judgment. Rather than telling them what to do, offer them real choices in their daily lives. Repeated small decisions will gradually develop their confidence and ability to navigate periods of transition. Listening and asking open-ended questions will help them explore their own ideas rather than receiving ready-made solutions.

Focus on experience rather than theory

For more than half of young people, what really helps is contact with reality. Instead of trying to understand everything through thinking alone, concrete experiences allow them to get to know themselves better: one-day internships, visits to schools, volunteering, various summer jobs, etc.

The goal is not for your young person to immediately find “the right job," but to be able to test, observe, and learn what they like and don't like. Change your approach from "What do you want to do in life?" to "What do you want to try next year?" . This will remind them that their choice is not final.

The education system is flexible and allows for adjustments. In fact, approximately 30%² of college students change programs during their studies. According to a Quebec study conducted in 2022, 18.3%³ of these young people had already changed programs by their second semester. So the choice made on March 1 (the deadline for fall semester applications) isn't a final destination, but a step in an evolving journey.

Establish an action plan to help them get moving

Passivity can simply come from uncertainty. A practical tip could be to draw up a simple action plan with steps, a schedule, and key dates (open houses, admissions, deadlines, etc.). Organizing the process makes it more accessible and less stressful.

Accept mistakes and avoid excessive control

Sometimes parents have a tendency to control their children's choices for fear of failure. But when young people feel that their decisions are being imposed on them, they may disengage or feel incapable. If failure occurs after a choice has been imposed, the parent-child relationship may even be affected.

Allowing room for trial and error and learning enables young people to feel like actors in their own lives rather than simply followers.

It is normal for teenagers to hesitate or take their time thinking about their future. Occasional passivity is part of the maturation process and is not cause for alarm. It only becomes necessary to take action if the inaction continues, if anxiety or disengagement becomes paralyzing, or if signs of distress appear. In these cases, talking, proposing a concrete action plan, or consulting a professional can help your teen regain confidence and take action.

Remember that every experience and every small step your children take helps them get to know themselves better and build a future that is meaningful to them.